Vulnerability + Courage

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and beloning and joy-the experience that makes us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enought o explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”- Brene Brown on The Gifts of Imperfection.

I’ve been exploring vulnerability these days-ha I guess years to be precise and I’ll be the first to admit its not always easy. But the more we practice + embody it, it becomes easier to be honest, authentic, and alive than to hide from our feelings + desires and accommodate to others just to be accepted, etc etc the list goes on. In the past I’ve run away from it because its a protective mechanism for me, and still can be…

It’s been interesting to notice my own patterns and how society and culture influences who I’ve been and am becoming. I come from a family that isn’t very open emotionally, so its been a huge learning process uncovering these blockages as they’ve come along. Of course I had to go through different relationships to notice the pattern, and destroyed many of them unfortunately. But I can’t turn the hands of time, I can only forgive myself and give myself the empathy and compassion as I would to any child in need of comfort and nurturing. What I realized was I was running away from myself because I was so afraid of what I would uncover…

Through the years of excavating my soul and ego, lies an innocent and open hearted being ready to embrace the world and all its love and beauty. -I wish I knew that when I was a kid- We sometimes have to learn it the hard way, but the hard way is where we grow and learn about ourselves. I believe being born into this world is really a re birth in many ways. To be in this world, it really requires courage and relentless trust and faith in the process of life to know that despite it all, we will be okay.

I feel compelled to write this because lately I’ve been going through some deep transformation and exploring my own edge and comfort zone. Not easy but doable because I’ve reached another level of intimacy with myself and I can’t run anymore. There’s no where to run in fact. And it doesn’t feel comfortable to run anymore. I think I’ve burned that bridge and theres no turning back…to be authentic with myself requires vulnerability and the courage to be okay with that. To let go of the outcome and expectations and let life run its course and to know its part of the growing pains.

I think a big part of being vulnerable requires change. Change is the only constant thing that exists in the universe…and I think its constantly testing our potential for greatness. Our potential is SO grand and massive, it can be scary, I kNOW! So we hide behind our comfort zone and hope that nobody notices we’re afraid of showing who we really are.

But I’m not here to do that anymore, I want to live my life to its fullest as I’m sure you all do too……and I’m here to serve and share my passion inspiring others to live the life they’ve always imagined, because its possible I know it…I’m dedicated to my path and being the best version of myself that I can. And thats what I’m here to do!

I hope you will join me!!
Jenny Ahn